Alone Until The End
by MasikuJeryloh
Summary: When he is no longer there, and she finally breaks... what will happen? WARNING; I honestly think the ending is REALLY depressing, but I don't know if I should change it or not. I wouldn't read it if you don't like depressing things. Only one chapter! This one wont have any chapters added on too it!


**Hey guys! So, this is my second fan fiction, I wasn't going to post this one, but I decided too. The ending is like, SUPER depressing in my opinion, but I can't bring myself to change it. Tell me in the reviews if you think I should change the ending to something less depressing, and I will! Half of me wants to… Anyway, enjoy I guess! ~Amber**

She comes home every night alone. Wonders, what could have been. What could have been, if she had admitted to him how she felt. But no, she had to play hard to get. Now she lost him to another woman and there was no hope of getting him back. She comes home every night, and drinks away her sorrows. Regretting not trying to stop him. For letting him marry the other woman. The other woman. That was such a painful thought for her. The worst was remembering getting the invite. 'Hope to see you there!' It had said in a cheerful way. Cheerful for them, while for her it was a living hell.

That had been three weeks ago, and she hadn't seen him since. They where still on they're honey moon. She wishes that was her on the honey moon. It happens in her dreams, and that's only on the nights she sleeps. Most nights she's awake all night drinking. Trying to forget him, the love of her life. Trying to forget the pain and sadness she felt since she lost him. Nobody knew how she felt, now or before. Nobody knew she had loved him, or the amount of pain caused by the loss of him.

She covered it well. Just like she had covered up her pain, when she came to the wedding, dressed nicely and gave them her best wishes. She took a sip of her beer and looked at the invite. 'The Wedding of Natalia Boa Vista and Eric Delko' it read. She remembered reading it when she got it. The hell of a reality sinking in as she slowly read what would become the end of her. She had made the decision at work that day. Today she would end the pain in an unspeakable way. She would drink until she couldn't feel anything, ever again.

Maybe then Eric would realize what he'd lost. She had told herself many times she was starting to sound like Gloria. Maybe it was the meds she had to take. Meds for depression. She might have to start taking meds for insanity. She lost a lot when Eric left. Him, her sanity, her happy, perky self. Nobody had noticed her perky self missing though. Or at least they didn't say anything. According to Ryan, Natalia and Eric where coming back to Miami today. Great, Hell on earth just got worse.

Why do things like this constantly happen to her? What did she ever do? She always wonders when these man troubles will stop. All of the other problems came from men she didn't love. Now Eric, the one man she loved with all her heart. Truly and deeply loved always had, and always would. It was her fault and she knew it. No matter how many people told her it wasn't, it was and always would be. If she hadn't made the mistake of shooting him he wouldn't have thought he was with Natalia still. They wouldn't have gotten married, and he would still be hers.

But there was no way to tell him now. No way to tell him he made a mistake and married the wrong woman. She could picture his reaction if she ever said that to him. 'Oh that's a likely story from a jealous girl' he would say shaking his head 'Sorry Cal, you're too late!' Natalia would throw in with an evil look as if she didn't already know she had missed out on true love. Now, depression would always be her only true feeling. All the rest where fake. Shows so that her friends would think she was alright. Think she wasn't slowly dying on the inside. That she wasn't ready to give up and just let herself waist away so she would never have to feel again.

Damn it! She was so weak! All she did was sit on the couch and drink until she passed out so she didn't have time to sulk. Other then that all she would so was bury her self in her work so she wouldn't have time to think. Time to think about all she could have done to change it, but she had been to deep in shock. They had been going to eat dinner and then spend the night together at her house, a wonderful first date, then she shot him. After that he thought he was still with Natalia. How awful that was. To be so deeply in love with someone, just to find out that they forgot their love for you. And then, you slowly die inside.

And that's what she was doing. Dying a little bit every day. Going insane not being able to see him and love him like she had been able to before the accident. An accident. That's what everyone called it. A freak accident that was nobody's fault. Nobody's but hers. She hadn't seen him driving the car. She hadn't taken the time to find out what was happening before she fired at the car and shot him. Nobody had ever blamed her, but she knew it was all her fault. She would never forgive herself. Not after all that happened. Now she was stuck wishing she could rewind life and redo everything. Not play hard to get, not shoot Eric, and not be sitting here sulking.

She looks around for a piece of paper. 'Im sorry but it had to be done' was the opening line to her note. After that, she explained why it had to be done. A list of reasons that are meaningless now. She has to word it perfectly for them to understand her pain. And the reason for what she must do. Nobody will ever understand just what she is going through. And now they don't have to. She opens her pills and pours them on the table in front of her. They might help end it faster. She falls asleep on the couch, empty pill bottle on the floor, beer bottles on the table. And that's how they find her, she got her wish. And the headstone reads: In Loving Memory of Calleigh Duquesne Loving daughter and friend RIP.


End file.
